Letting Go of Grief


When you have a true, loving relations ip with someone, it is difficult to let go of that emotional bond through death or divorce. We find comfort in relationships that are deep within our hearts. Whether this relationship is between a husband and wife, friends or siblings, people are the most important aspects of anyone’s life. The right person can turn your world from mundane to euphoria. That special person can truly make your world a better place. When you think of that someone, it gives you great pleasure remembering all the good times filled with laughter and maybe the sad times when they were there for you. But all those times, whether good or bad you were building hopes, dreams, and anticipation.

Because we place such emphasis on our relationships that bring joy to our lives, we tend to create a reality that revolves around that person, and when that ends abruptly, our world crumbles.

The love between a husband and wife can be the greatest love of anyone in your life. You start out sharing everything, and soon you realize you would like to spend the rest of your life with this person. Committing your life to another person is the most intimate thing one can do. You are promising to give your all to this beautiful relationship without reservation. Usually, children are born from this union, and a tighter bond is shared. Through death or divorce, this lost is the most overwhelming of all relationships. A part of you is lost forever, and you embark on a frightening and sometimes lonely journey.

The love between two people not married is as profound as married couples. You found this unique and wonderful person that understands you, and you enjoy each others company immensely. A bond grows between you because there is a connection that you both feel. True friendship is the same as the true qualities that define real love. With this person, you can confide all your thoughts and dreams without repercussions. You can accept one another for who you are and have a permanent shoulder to cry on when needed. If this relationship is suddenly ended, a part of you is lost.

The love between siblings is the best thing parents bring into our lives. You are raised together, and no one can better understand you than a brother or sister. You may have several siblings, but for some reason, you only have this special bond with one or two of them. You love all the others, but for some reason maybe only one or two in the family build this wonderful relationship that spans a lifetime. You understand each other without many spoken words. In any given situation, you know what the other is thinking and anticipate every reaction. Siblings with this bond are not only brothers and sisters but are also best friends. What could be better than having your best friend standing by your side always? The death of this sibling can be devastating and pure chaos in the heart of the one left behind. Losing parents can be just as devastating as losing a sibling.

When you lose someone through death or divorce, the whole world can become your enemy. There is an emptiness in your soul that is gut wrenching. It will take a lifetime to forget them, and you will always be connected by heartstrings. That bond and love will be forever buried deep inside your heart.

Through all this lost, we must remember there is a season for everything. God has a plan, and He is prepared for you to go to Him seeking help. As Christians, we are given hope. Turn to Him with your sorrow, let His perfect love for us ease your grief. Speak your heart to him with daily prayer and meditation.

The loss of a loved one can be extremely difficult, but we also know that our grief is temporarily limited to this life. Revelation 21:4 promise, “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore for the former things have passed away.”

Loss and grief are part of our lives. God can truly help you deal with your pain if you will only allow Him into your heart. Once you allow Him into your heart, you will feel a circle of love surrounding you that will bring peace back into your life. God knows and sees you at your good times and bad. He knows your burdens and every care. He is waiting for you to reach out to Him so that He can wrap you in His arms filled with grace to once again fill your days with joy and acceptance. God will help you learn to let go and simply release, as he is holding your loved one in His arms and holding you in His heart.

Pastor Herman B. Holland